Is It Him?
by RedPandaPrincess
Summary: Janeway gets drunk and wrestles with her demons. Seven demands answers. Lightly Rated T, nothing explicit just a little drabble piece I think there might be a kiss in there somewhere.


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek Voyager, if I did C/7 would not have been canon and Chakotay would have met an unfortunate end.

As Captain Kathryn Janeway entered the Holodeck, she smiled broadly. This was a party the likes of which Voyager had not seen in quite some time. Tom Paris had created a new program for it – a bar by the sea, more upscale than the Sandrines program he had created.

There were what looked like hundreds of different types of drinks stocked behind the bar – probably every drink in the database, she thought with a chuckle. Some crew members were already seated at the counter or at tables, drinking happily. Other were playing games – pool, darts, etc. Others still were dancing to some music she didn't recognize.

It made the captain happy to see her crew enjoying themselves so, and with such a good reason. They had found and mined enough dilithium to power the ship for over a year! Actually Seven had found it. Kathryn hadn't dared to believe her at first but when she'd seen the scans for herself and confirmed the planet was uninhabited with no hostile species laying claim to the ore, she'd nearly kissed the beautiful Borg!

She blushed at the thought and quickly scanned the room for her lovely Astrometrics officer.  
Kathryn knew she could never act on her inappropriate feelings for Seven. For one thing she was the captain and, more importantly, she was sure Seven could never return her feelings. But, she'd told herself she'd ask Seven to dance tonight. Just one dance, to celebrate the discovery.

The blonde had not arrived yet, however, so Kathryn would have to wait.

"Hey Captain!"

Kathryn turned to see the cheerful face of her best pilot, Tom Paris.

"Good evening, Mr Paris. You've certainly outdone yourself here."

"Thanks Captain. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves so far. Care for a drink?" he offered, leading her towards the bar.

"Certainly. It appears you've replicated the entire synthaholic database."

"Well you did say go all out," he said, the tip[s of his ears pink.

"Hey Captain," greeted Ensign Harry Kim as she sat at the bar beside him. "Would you like a drink?"

"Good evening, Harry. What have you got there?" she asked, nodding to the vibrant-colored drink the young man was holding.

"A Blue Hawaiian, ma'am."

"Is it good?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I'll take one of those then," she told the holographic bartender, then looked at Harry. "And please don't call me ma'am."

She wondered how many times she'd had to tell the young man that in the last seven years.

"Sorry, Captain," he said.

"I forgive you," she assured him, patting his shoulder.

Her drink arrived and she took a sip. It was good. Fruits and flavorful. And blue was her favorite color.

She talked with Tom and Harry as she drank. Tom had just challenged her to a game of pool when the entire holodeck fell silent. Kathryn turned in her chair to see what the distraction was – and her heart stopped in her chest. There in the doorway stood Seven of Nine...on the arm of her First Officer, Chakotay.

She was dressed in a white dress with lace at the bottom and the sleeves, with a low cut neckline showing off parts of the younger woman she'd only ever dreamed of seeing. Her blonde hair was loose and flowed freely over her shoulders and she was smiling...at Chakotay! The captain's heart fell to the floor and she felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach.

"She looks like an angel," murmured an awe-struck Harry from beside her.

"All that's missing is a halo," agreed Tom.

Kathryn turned back to the bar quickly, fighting a sick feeling. She finished her drink, using the few seconds it took to slam her command mask down over the turmoil of emotions she felt inside.

Conversations throughout the room resumed. Tom seemed to sense the shift in the captain's mood and he nudged Harry.

"C'mon Harry, let's go challenge Tuvok to a game of pool."

"Okay," Harry agreed a little wistfully. "Coming Captain?"

"Go ahead," she managed in what she hoped was a normal tone. When they left, she quickly moved to the farthest, darkest corner of the bar, hoping that would keep anyone from trying to sit with her.

"Scotch," she ordered from a hologram. "Or whatever passes for scotch on this godforsaken star ship."

As the drink burned its way into her stomach, she frowned. Seven with Chakotay! HER Seven...with Chakotay! Of all people! She snuck a glance and saw them talking to B'elanna, her arm still linked with his.

He tried to have you sucked out of an airlock! She wanted to scream across the room. Chakotay had hated her since the day she came on board, hated her because she was Borg. So when had this happened? Kathryn knew it must be serious. She was touching his arm and Seven never touched anyone if she could help it.

She ordered another drink. So when had this happened? She thought back over the last few months. She'd never seen anything between them, never seem them alone as far as she knew they rarely spoke!

Obviously she had missed something somewhere...probably while pining away for the girl herself. A surge of emotion ran through her and threatened to make her cry. She went to drown the feeling in her drink but noticed her glass was empty. So she ordered another.

The next half hour seemed to pass slowly as the captain wrestled with her demons and ordered drinks. When she saw Seven and Chakotay on the dance floor and felt the urge to vomit, she knew it was time to go before she embarrassed herself.

She slipped away as quietly as she could then practically fled to her quarters. When she stumbled through the door, she sealed it behind her. She stood there a moment, her back pressed against the door, while she tried to decide if she was going to throw up or not.

When she decided not, she walked over to the replicator.

"Coffee," she said out of habit, then "Dammit, belay that."

She stood there a moment, her brain foggy from the synthehol. Maybe she should drink a coffee, sober up some. Maybe she should go to bed. But then she thought of Seven's smiling – really smiling – at Chakotay.

"Scotch," she growled at the replicator.

Tonight she would get drunk, she decided. She was halfway there already. She would drink and be sad or mad or whatever she felt, until she passed out of she damn well pleased. She'd get it all out tonight and tomorrow she would move on.

That was the plan, anyway, until less than ten minutes later her door chime rang. She ignored it, studying the half-empty glass in her hand. A minute passed, then the doors opened on their own, startling Kathryn. Seven walked through the doors, a vision in white.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kathryn demanded, slamming her glass down on the table as she jumped to her feet, sloshing some. "How DARE you – you can't just BARGE in here, what do-"

"I need to speak with you," she said in her usual cool tone.

"I'm not in the mood for a philosophical debate," she retorted bitterly.

"Clearly. However, you WILL talk to me. Computer, seal these doors with Borg encryption code Seven-pi-alpha."

Kathryn glared at her, trying not to let her eyes wander.

"Permission to speak freely, Captain?" Seven asked, approaching her.

"Permission NOT granted," Kathryn grunted, flopping back down on the couch.

"I intend to do so anyway."

"Of course you do," Kathryn snorted.

"Are you jealous of me or him?" Seven asked bluntly.

"WHAT?!"

"I heard Lieutenants Torres and Paris debating whether you were jealous of me for being with Chakotay...or jealous of him for having me."

"That's absolutely ridiculous!" she exclaimed, knowing her face was red. She grabbed her glass from the table and took a shaky drink.

"You are drunk," Seven stated, taking another step closer.

"Very astute observation," she drawled. "Go back to the party, Seven. Go dance with Chakotay. Do whatever you want...just leave me alone...please."

She said the last part weakly and she looked down at her empty glass, wishing it were full.

Seven leaned forward and took the glass from her hands.

"I need to know, Captain," Seven said and something in her voice made Kathryn look up. Her face was closer than expected and there was a sort of desperation in her blue eyes that made her unable to look away again. She knew whatever Seven asked her now she wouldn't be able to lie.

"Captain," Seven said, making Kathryn's heart wrench. "Is it him you want...or..."

"You," Kathryn whispered, her voice barely audible. "It was always you."

For a moment Kathryn was terrified as Seven's eyes widened slightly. Then, impossibly soft lips covered Kathryn's mouth in the sweetest kiss she had ever known.

When Seven pulled away she was grinning broadly, the most un-Borg-like expression Kathryn had ever seen on her face and she knew she was hooked. She was totally, utterly in love with Seven of Nine.

"I never allowed myself to hope you could feel this way for me," Seven said wondrously.

"Does this mean you...feel the same way?" Kathryn asked her uncertainly. Seven touched her cheek gently and pressed their lips together again.

"Does that answer your question?"

"But what about Chakotay?" Kathryn asked, her mind swimming. She wished she had not drank so much so she could think clearer.

"He was only using me to make you jealous," she stated matter-of-factually, sitting down next to her on the couch, pressing their legs together.

"Wh- he told you that?"

"Yes. After I forcibly fractured his septum."

"...You punched him in the nose? When?"

"After you left. I saw you stumble when you exited the Holodeck and I wanted to check on you. He did not want me to leave. He grabbed my...posterior and I told him to release me. He did not."

"I kind of wish I had seen that," Kathryn admitted with a chuckle.

"He fell to the ground and called me a 'Borg bitch' and said he'd only agreed to go out with me so you'd see him with a younger woman and be jealous."

"What an ass!" she declared. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that, Seven. I'm sorry he called you that."

"They are just words, Captain," she replied with a shrug.

"Call me Kathryn."

"Kathryn," Seven repeated, the sound sending a shiver of pleasure through the older woman's body. "I suppose since we are altering the parameters of our relationship it is appropriate for me to call you by your first name."

"Altering the parameters of our relationship, is that what we are doing?" Kathryn teased.

"Yes."

"I love your...Borg-isms, Seven," she said with a grin.

"You are still drunk," Seven said with a faint smile. "May I ask you a question, Kathryn?"

"Of course, Seven, anything."

"Why did you never tell me how you felt? I was so...confused when I realized I exhibited all the symptoms of being in love when I was around you."

"I had my reasons...though I can't seem to remember what any of them were at the moment. My brain is a bit...foggy."

"Large quantities of synthehol inhibit brain function. Would you like a coffee?"

"No," she groaned, laying down with her head in Seven's lap.

The short dress Seven wore made it to where the captain's face was halfway on the soft pale skin of Seven's thigh. She could smell the clean scent of Seven's skin and it made her smile.

"I suppose I was scared to tell you," she admitted.

"Scared? Captain Kathryn Janeway who has faced down the Hirogen, the Borg Queen, Species 8472, and countless other hostile species without so much as flinching? I did not think you could be scared by anything," Seven said, idly stroking the auburn heard in her lap.

"But I was. Scared that you would not feel the same. Scared I would lose you, our friendship, your respect..."

"Scared of Starfleet finding out?"

"To hell with Starfleet," Kathryn said vehemently, surprising the young blonde. "If they want to come out here and fire me for falling in love, let them come! I'll work as a crewman in the Airponics Bay before I let you slip away again."

Seven leaned down and kissed her again, briefly, then continued running her fingers through silky red hair, sending shivers of pleasure through the captain's body.

Kathryn closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. When she felt a tingle between her legs, she bit back a moan.

"You may sleep if you wish, Kathryn," Seven said. "I am not going anywhere."

"I'm not sleepy," she replied without opening her eyes, her voice low and husky. Seven was silent a moment.

"You are aroused," she observed, trailing her fingers through her hair once more, then down her cheek, stroking her jaw.

"Mmm."

"We could...I could take you to bed."

Kathryn opened one eye to see Seven's face was actually pink. She was blushing and it was absolutely adorable and endearing.

"I don't want to rush things, darling," Kathryn said gently, taking Seven's hand in her own and bringing it to her mouth to kiss.

"I am not rushed," she replied earnestly. "I have wanted you for quite some time and I have done extensive research and downloaded gigaquads of data on the act of female copulation."

"Really?"

"I have no doubt I could successfully bring you to orgasm, Captain."

Kathryn flushed, and immediately sat up. She couldn't help but chuckle a little at Seven's bluntness.

"No doubt," she said, taking Seven's hand and squeezing it. "But not tonight. I've had too much to drink and I'd like to be clear headed the first time we...we..."

"Copulate?"

"Make love," she corrected, her face feeling warm.

"Humans are so strange...for a species that puts such importance around sex, they are prudish when it comes to talking about it."

"You aren't wrong," she laughed.

"May I take you to bed, Kathryn? We do not have to copu- make love. I just want to hold you."

"I would like that, Seven."

She'd hardly finished speaking when she let out a yelp as she found herself being lifted into the air. She wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck for safety.

"I didn't know you meant take me to bed quite so literally, Seven," she laughed, burying her face in Seven's shoulder. Seven carried her to the edge of the bed and laid her down gently. She kissed her sweetly then went to the other side of the bed, kicked off her heels, and crawled in next to her.

Seven suddenly seemed shy and hesitant. Sensing this, Kathryn rolled towards her and wrapped her arms around the blonde. She could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest as Seven returned the embrace.

"I love you, Kathryn," she whispered, her warm breath tickling Kathryn's ear.

"I love you, too, Seven."

Notes: Thanks for reading everyone, please review if you can!

Also "I have no doubt I could successfully bring you to orgasm, Captain" has to be my favorite line from any of my stories I have written recently! Hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did! Oh Seven and your Borg-isms!


End file.
